Zatem panowie - wybierajcie raczej szkołę hinduską (hatha yoga), niźli słowiańską (misiowaty Yogi na chacie z wyszynkiem), bo jest korzystniejsza i to w każdej dziedzinie. I przedłuża życie...
* - biernikowe wahania mianownikowo-dopełniaczowe

***tłumaczenie w ramach eksperymentu polsko-angielskiego***

Procreators and their... procreators

A Hindu farmer (called Yogi) has just become father of a daughter, who is his twenty-first child, and her Dad is... 90 years old now. The aged father drinks a glass of camel's milk a day and eats a lot of meat (the media didn't say, if it was also meat of his humpbacked milk-giving friends) and he announces that he will continue his procreational activity until he has been a hundred years old, because women love him and he is keen on kids. The champion's name (because he should be called so - and maybe the Guinness has already been interested in him!) may suggest that he has been practiced yoga in his own cottage, not only the Kamasutra. So, nearly one-hundred-year procreator takes care of his record-breaking procreational 'tool', approximating the second dozen of his family cluster.


A Russian man, who is nearly twice younger then the Hindu, is much less lucky with women (he is divorced) and he has much less chance to grow his family (there was an assault on instruments the most useful to this sector of human activity), but he is also keen on 'hundreds' (grams of alcohol - but notice, that fonetical it's almost the same) he drinks almost everyday.


That day he sat in front of his TV-set, he was completely naked and he practiced his favourite 'discipline' (but not of sport!). And perhaps it was one of the causes that his ex-wife decided to commit an ineffable profanation, which no man in the world can stand by: she wormed the subtlest of his male jewelers - and there is NOT a metaphor (because it wouldn't anything really bad in it!) but to the letter: the media have reported about arson! Maybe the second cause of the attack was that the man had still been living in his ex-wife flat, though their divorce had been sentenced three years before. Anyway, our second procreator, who is getting on fifty, has been bandaged his precious, scalded 'procreator' almost every day since then, losing his trust in its advantages.


But following authors of criminal novels, we could imagine the event also in a bit different way. This guy was drinking the unflavoured vodka eating speck - and both of the products are extremely inflammable. His lady was irritated and she sluiced the international liquid (but not water) in his secret parts, because she had though it would have restrained him from topping. He was so impressed that he dropped his mumbled tick out of his mouths. And when the incandescent cigarette fell down into his pubescence, which had been besprent with alcohol and fat, it caused the immediate fire of his 'totem' surrounded by hair (and we all know the real man should not shave even a beard!). Further, it could be that his risen 'torch' was additionally wormed by a multihour 'molestation' of the TV-set; broadcasting not very sublimed films, which could offend a philistine sense of morality and which were connected to the Kamasutra. Perhaps, there was a double explosion: the first one was because of ethyl vapours (coming from drink and fat spilled on the ruffled intimate coiffure) and the second one coming from the gentleman's testicles accumulator, as the man was excited because of the divorce and red-hot by the film. So, the swelter must have been really intense!